Life At 30,000 Feet

Posted: May 31, 2014 in Blog
Tags: , , , ,

So if you follow me on any of the social media, including this one, you can see (or read…however it goes) that I’ve been traveling a lot lately… Like a lot, a lot! I’ve been pretty much out of town (town for me is LA!) every week for the last few months. Look, I’ve traveled my fair share in life, but as of late, it’s been kinda ridiculous! I feel like a traveling salesman or like George Clooney in “Up in the Air.”
Anyhow, I’m on the plane alone for another 5 hour flight, instead of my regular travel to the East Coast, I happen to be flying west, Hawaii to be exact, Maui to be even more exact. Traveling for business as usual. Now flying as much as I have been lately, turns out that I’ve watched nearly every movie offered, at least the ones I have any interest in and I look around and have a few observations… First of which, if you travel this much, it’s kinda lonely in its own way. You spend all these hours in transit next to strangers, strangers whom you have to get used to their body scents and sometimes intense perfumes. Now sometimes I can fly first class or business, but many times, the people who fly me out don’t have that in the budget, so I’m not above flying in coach. Now in LA, we’re not accustomed to using public transit on the whole, so some rules I’m not quite sure. That awkward moment of when a piece of there body is resting or touching your body for a long period of time, like if they’re sleeping or unaware. Do you quickly move or remove their body from touching yours. Or do you simply leave it and roll with it. Furthermore, I prefer the window seat… Always the window seat. 1. I enjoy the view and being in pseudo in control of the light coming in and out of my aisle, but also, I think I have a much better handle on my bladder than most and thus can usually get through a whole 6 hour flight without having to get up and thus I don’t have to repeatedly have to get up for others to use the bathroom when I’m in the aisle.
Now, I say it’s lonely up here because ultimately you’re traveling alone. I look around the plane as we’re about to take off and everyone puts on their headphones, me included (I have the nice Bose earbuds that has noise cancellation as to insure an even more solitude trip) and people kind of zone out in their thoughts or books or video games or what not.
It’s funny how we all resort back to grade school again when the meal comes out. It’s always some substandard meal, compactly assembled in little compartments. All of us are like kids at a lunch break, huddled over our shitty little lunches, racing through the “food” to get to the desert (being a hawaii flight its chocolate covered macadamia nuts), great thing about being an adult is you can now have that accompanied with an alcoholic beverage of your choice, for some reason, when I’m on planes, I always like to have a Bloody Mary… why? I’m not sure, I rarely drink them in real life, but up here… It usually seems like a good idea.
Also, on this particular flight I opted for the row with access to the emergency exit, pretty much for the extra leg room and early access to the plane. Before we take off, the chipper stewardess gives me all the instructions incase of an emergency, emergency pretty much meaning we crash or have a crash landing, yet she’ll never say the word crash. Like everyone who sits in these seats, I nod, half listening to her… I follow her hands and actions to see the levers that need to be pulled in case of an “emergency.” This lady did give me some extra info you don’t usually get, like the door weighs like 60lbs. when you unhinge it and she wondered if I could handle that. Of course I nodded like any man and was like, “No problem…” So you know, in case of an emergency, I’m down to help get as many people to safety as possible, including myself, but you know pretty much try to get those thoughts out of my mind immediately, because if you think about all that too long while sitting on this plane, 30,000 feet in the air, you can go into a pretty dark place. I wonder how many people have sat in these emergency exit seats and then some emergency happened and they got totally shell shocked and couldn’t perform any of the duties they promised they would do…
Well, now I’m rambling… See I’m sitting in this emergency row with all my extra leg room and lucky enough to have no one sitting next to me, so I can really spread out, however, now there is definitely no chance for any conversation on this long bus ride in the sky. The movies are not an option for me. Being that we’re flying over the Pacific Ocean, there’s no wifi, so no mindless web surfing. I go back and forth from reading my book (still reading “Ready Player 1” and it’s awesome, but I have to put it down every half hour or so) and speaking of people sitting next to you, that whole Hollywood concept of a hot chick sitting next to you on your plane flights, it doesn’t happen to me much and I fly a lot… I wonder what the actual statistics of all that is.
So instead of all that… I’m talking to you guys. I’m writing this blog offline to be posted when I land. It reminds me I have to write more, mostly because I enjoy it… I mean, I think a lot about a lot of things, I talk a fair amount with a bunch of different people, but to sit and just write it out for one reason or another is enjoyable to me.
If you’re reading this, thank you for reading, maybe someday we’ll sit in seats next to each other on a plane and keep each other company while in transit.

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