Express Yourself

Posted: December 21, 2016 in Uncategorized

Tonight I painted a Christmas ornament, actually my second one this holiday season. I used acrylic paint both times and both times I must admit I felt pretty damn artistic! Sometimes I wonder, if I wasn’t an actor, what else would have I become… I always think writer first. Well, I am a poet, and even writing a blog, makes you somewhat of a writer. (I know I need to write more, especially this blog) but I’ve also been blessed to have my play produced and have had a movie produced I cowrote, so I am a writer, I love writing. 

I also think sometimes I could have been a musician. I mean I still write songs sometimes, but I’m thinking like more of a jazz musician… like a horn player. I love John Coltrane,  he’s always been one of my favorites. I still listen to “Giant Steps” regularly, especially on gloomy days in LA, I listen to the whole album, from top to bottom. It soothes me for some reason. I also listen to Coltrane when I’m sick. See, I don’t take medicine, haven’t taken so much as an aspirin in over 20 years. I tell friends that are sick to simply, take the day off, stay in bed, drink hot tea and listen to John Coltrane.

Maybe if I had to do it all again,  I would take the 20 years of acting classes and conservatory and trade it all in to master the craftsmanship of the saxophone. I don’t know, maybe…

I just know, I’d probably be an artist, no matter which water it all was going to happen. It feels to good when I’m being creative. It means something, even as I paint an ornament that no one outside of the folks in this room will ever see, it means something, there’s a piece of me in there somewhere, and expression of myself. 

I guess that’s what it comes down to, just wanted to express myself,  whether it’s for a crowd of people, or just for myself. So I’ll continue to write… don’t know if anyone is out there reading this, some post aren’t for you, some post are just for me to write. I probably would have been a pretty good saxophone player… maybe not.

  1. Amber Fortner says:

    I considered whether I should a comment here or on tumblr. I settled for here. This resonates with me but more in a way that growing up…We are always asked “What do we want to be when you’re an adult”..that question never felt right to me because it suggest that we can only be one thing in our lifetime. To this day, I think it is a huge contributor as to why it’s so difficult for me to just settle on one path when there are so many paths I’d like to take and so many things I’d like to be.

    That being said, I think you shouldn’t just stick with one thing. Being a writer is great, beautiful and fulfilling in a sense, but maybe you can be a writer, artist and a musician. Creative people tend to never stick in one area all together. It seems as though one place is never big enough for us or all our ideals…or well speaking for myself anyways.

    I sincerely hope that you maybe take an art class or a music class or maybe both. If you don’t mind getting your hands dirty, ceramics is by far my favorite medium of art, with drawing being my second and as for music, I’ve always been drawn to the piano, ukulele and lately, the cello. If you choose to go on multiple paths, it seems like it’d be fitting for you and I for one can’t wait to see your journey on it.

    • linnealien says:

      And we end up being so many things throughout our lives, if we let ourselves. We’re even many things all at once sometimes! And there’s a big difference between “What I do” and “Who I am,” although one does spring from the other.

  2. maishaife says:

    It’s never too late to learn the saxophone, and paint with notes the way you do with words.

  3. linnealien says:

    A creative person will always create. I’m glad you’re exercising this part of yourself. Journaling like this is a very helpful tool for many reasons; I wish more people practised it!

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