Spent today shooting some stuff for YouTube, another episode of my 30 Something Else show and got to hang with my friend’s kids all afternoon. I have to admit, they are the cutest things and they call me Uncle Dante. Now of course, I’m at the age, with my big birthday coming up that the idea of kids occupy my mind here and there. I come from a big family, there’s 5 siblings and my parents both had more than that, so the idea of having a family has always been a given in my mind. The reality is starting to set in now and what that actually means.
I mean, I love kids, I’m great uncle… Well, I’m a fun uncle, always available to spoil whoever is around. I’m good for at least an hour as a babysitter. I see myself as more hanging out with them then taking care of them. But it makes you think, what kind of father will I actually be.
Can’t see myself being all that strict, which could be good or bad. I hope the kid… Or kids will be cool enough that I want to hang with them. And the idea of my whole life changing is a bit ominous.
I mean, my day today consisted of, working out, then off to shooting, then an audition in Burbank, a meal or two mixed in there somewhere and end the day playing poker at some underground card house like I’m some character in “Guys and Dolls.” Needless to say, it’s not a day that I would consider very fatherly.
But, I can’t lie and say there isn’t an urge to be a father, I do look at kids now and think of myself having a child and raising him or her, hopefully instilling in them the best of you and gaurding them from some of the traits you’re not so proud of.
It’s weird to have this consideration or desire in you’re head or in your heart. I don’t even know if it will happen, who knows what’s in the cards for us, but kids are definitely one of the things I wrestle with now, at least the idea of having them. A healthy fear of being inadequate might be a good thing. But not being a parent, I don’t really know, and much respect goes out to all the parents out there, including my own. If I could be half as good them, I’d probably be doing alright.